My soldier returns

Ok. Back to the story.  After December there's nothing to tell until March.  He went back to Afghanistan so things were pretty much the same as they were July-December. He came back to the States in March. I felt terrible that I could not be there to welcome him home. In my mind, he would be the only soldier there without someone to hug him. Granted that's probably not true, but I live in my mind so it was true to me. On top of that, when he got back the Army had some things messed up so he had nowhere to stay. He was a homeless lonely veteran. How bad does that suck? I called around Watertown to find him an available hotel, they were booked up because of people there to welcome their soldiers. And I wanted to send him something. So question. What do you send a man?? I don't find flowers as meaningful to men...or chocolates. If there was a food place that delivered that I knew he'd like I probably would've done that. So seriously comment, and tell me what to send a man. I have this issue far too often.  I settled on an Edible Arrangement. It was nice to be able to send him something other than a box of survival foods and heat warmers. And he liked it, so I felt like I earned some brownie points.

In Rochester before my interview

In March I traveled to Rochester to tour the university and interview for grad school. Since it was only 2.5 ish hours from Watertown, Penny came down to see it with me. Lowkey, I was excited to get to spend a weekend alone with him before he went home because I got all the attention. We stayed at my aunt's condo. Except that snow was on the ground, it reminded me a lot of Birmingham. The school was nice. Small. I wanted a smaller grad program for networking purposes so it was fitting. And we were able to explore Rochester. My interview went extremely well.  Of course I got into the program and accepted.   It was an 11 month program so for a year I would be much closer to him.  A drastic change from the previous year.

A lot happened in April. There was a weekend in Starkville, of course. Although it was not nearly as enjoyable as usual for me. It was the weekend of Blue & White week. We hadn't hung out with friends since we don't really have any mutual friends. He invited me to come to one of their parties. When I got there it was crowded outside and I called him to come get me.  He thought I meant from my friends apartment but I was at the door.  And he never came so I was pushed around by these kids trying to get into this party. Ugh. I got so mad and I left. We ended up having an argument that resulted in: Don't invite me to any more parties. At this point in our relationship we were great at arguing but not so great at reconciling. This is one of the things that has drastically evolved for us. We have reached a point now where disagreements are discussed and sorted out to make us both happy or content. It's not about 'winning' because if you win and your partner loses and is still pissed at you, are you really winning? I mean what's the point in that? You won't always be happy. There will be times you have to give up what you want for the sake of the other. And there will be arguments. But you learn to grow with each other and handle things maturely. To be clear, that did not happen after this particular argument but it did eventually happen.

Ziplining in Puerto Rico

We took a trip to Puerto Rico! It was great. I so want to go back and we have already decided we will...at some point.  And it was incredibly affordable. We flew from ATL for about $300 roundtrip.  And reserved a pool house via www.homeaway.com or www.flipkey.com for $75 a night. I don't remember which but I remember looking through both sites. We did a kayaking, hiking, zipline adventure. People say "black people don't do that" but eff y'all. I like outdoors stuff. It's fun, challenging, and healthy, so I do all of that. We went to the casino even though we aren't gamblers. I play penny slots...haha how appropriate. Went to the beach, mall...there's was a lot going on.  Old San Juan is beautiful.  We didn't find a Thai restaurant but the food was good anyway. I can't even detail this trip properly to give it justice.  There was a drunk cowboy at one of the bars we went to. He told us he came to PR from Texas...on his horse.... And Tharius continued to talk to this man just to laugh at him. We met people on the streets that complimented Tharius on  his beautiful wife because we looked so in love and perfect for each other.  In literature, we call this foreshadowing.  When we got back to ATL we found a Thai restaurant :-) Not as good as NOLA but was still a nice place.

The kids playing at the lake

We went to Tombigbee Park in Tupelo with the kids. He had not seen them since December and I'd never met his son. He thought I was 16. LOL how awkward...but his daughter did correct him and tell him I was daddy's girlfriend. We rented a cabin on the lake for a couple of days, so it was a little family vacation. I felt like a stepmother.  We went to the grocery store and made dinner and breakfast. Somehow we had a hula hoop contest....in no change from my childhood I suck at hula hoop! LOL But his son and I can arm hula hoop like beasts! His daughter is clearly the hula hooper in the family. His dad came up and went fishing for a little while. We went to a car show/fair. I enjoy fairs and festivals too. I think I just like being outside. The kids got their faces painted and played games. We got several compliments on our lovely family.  And how nice it was to see parents out with their kids. Again, foreshadowing. For it to be just a weekend, we did a lot. What I like most is there was no TV or video games.  Ideally, this is what I want my family to be like. Enjoying time with each other, being active. Not everyday, but often enough to value family over video games or phone calls or text messages. It was nice to see him interact with his kids and me sharing this idea of family. Recalling this weekend makes me excited to join a family with him. It's truly one of my favorite memories from our relationship. It makes me happy I said yes.

Hula hoop contest

You get what you pray for

This isn't really a chronological post, but it's something I wanted to share. I am a lot of things when it comes to my fiance' (and some of my friends). Possessive, stingy, selfish....I believe males and females to be exactly who they are.  Meaning, if s/he has no loyalties to you don't expect particular considerations to your feelings. I, therefore, do not expect a person not in my relationship to respect it or my feelings.  I also never believed in having one boyfriend until about college....and even then there were rather specific terms that made a guy deserving of all of my attention. This has nothing to do with sexual attention because I am very particular about that, but more like conversations, dates, flirting, attention.  Anyways, I was forced to look at the evolution of our relationship recently.  I did not like it, initially.  You know how you pray for certain things causing you to go through something you do not enjoy to get what you want? Ex: Praying for patience brings trials that work patience so that you become more patient.  Well, imagine what you get when you pray for an appreciation, respect, everlasting love for your significant other. Because that's what I do. So, I came across some things that proved the unstable beginnings of our relationship. It hurt. But honestly, how many people enter a relationship with all loyalties on the table? I don't. You don't  know that this person is your future husband/wife.  You're not in love with this person, at best you're in deep like and a possible strong lust. But love is a stretch.  So when you uncover things from a time that borders the single life, you may not be so pleased with it. I had to think about my last 3 years....it's really been 3 years.  In year one we both would have things that we could be rightfully upset over. But is it right to be so upset with year ONE and not acknowledge years 2 and 3? No. Because, like I said, few loyalties are developed. All day I thought about the growth, how far we've come, the things love has been built on.  We are alike in some ways that allow me to view things from different perspectives when necessary.  And as the day progressed I found that love and respect I pray for.  Neither of us have been perfect especially in the beginnings of this thing.  But we have grown into a love, respect, complete honesty that has strengthened our relationship to what it is now. In the end, I am glad we have both grown out of our past hangups and hurts and into each other's needs.  He fills my gaps.  Although, because of that possessive, stingy thing there are some people I will always look at sideways, but never will they be threats.  I don't tend to like people once I dislike them...but since I never have to interact with these cats that's okay. I do, however, grow into apathy so they'll be there eventually.  The point is to always be aware of what you pray for.  God will remind you if you pay attention.  In the moment I felt like saying and doing some things I likely would have regret, He kindly reminded me in order to appreciate the growth/development of something, you have to be reminded of the starting point. Gotta love when He puts me in check. I am aware and I am ever grateful.