Let's catch up

I'm getting married. I wanted a blog type site because everyone wants to know when? where? to whom? etc.  Plus, I thought it'd be fun to tell a story.  I guess I have to give back story if I want you to journey with me so let's catch up. 

I'm marrying Tharius (who I actually knew as Penny for years).  If you know Penny you may or may not know Tharius. Yes, they are two different people.  We met in 2003 at Mississippi State University as undergrads.  We have not been dating since then.  He did approach me and since I had a boyfriend and other interests, I turned him down.  The number of times I turned him down varies depending on which of us you ask, but the point is the same.  I consider that divine intervention. Neither of us were in a place for a 'real' long term relationship.  I'm not really sure how many people are at such a young age but we were not two of them.  Had we dated then we would likely not be getting married now.  We weren't even really friends (in my opinion).  I spoke to One Cent when I saw him but we didn't hang out.  At some point in college I was more like friends with his line brothers who were my coworkers, Alex (who I called Shadow because he seemed to be every where I was) and CP.  The 3 were roommates in Cedar Cove so I'd been there a few times.  According to Penny, he remembers me coming over but he would leave to give Alex and me some space....we didn't need space...but ok.  We did have a class together my senior year 2007 but still the same associate type relationship.  That's about the extent of our college interactions. Not much to that story.  Let's fast forward.....

In 2008 (I think) we touched base via Facebook.  I was living and working in Los Angeles and he was in Jackson, MS.  We would chat often but just catching up.  He had a girlfriend that he'd been dating since college who he was living with.  I was enjoying being single in Los Angeles.  Which, FYI, is one of the best cities to be young and single in; it's a never ending adventure and I absolutely loved it.  That commitment stuff was for the birds.  So at this point maybe we became (internet) friends.

Here's where things take a turn.  Let's see how I can best tell this story and leave out names....I went to Starkville one weekend for a football game and a party with a friend, we'll call him J.  Penny's (ex)girlfriend was at the party.  When the party was over, I had to drive a drunk friend home.  Well J was supposed to follow me to this friend's apt so I could get back to my room.  But the (ex)girlfriend comes over and says something to J.  I'm not gonna say what it was or was not but I know J did not follow me to this apt and left me stranded.  So when I called him to find out where he was he tells me he's not coming....wtf guy. His reasoning was that his chances of getting some from her were better than the (non-existent) chances of him getting some from me....yea, rude.  So I asked if she was still in her relationship and he says according to her no she's not.  I knew that was untrue because Penny and I had talked about this...but ok. Whatever.  I did find a way back to my room; I had a plethora of friends in Starkville at the time. This was not the first time that I had noticed her interactions with J. But it was at that point that I decided it was ok for me to actually like him because he and this girl were headed for disaster anyway. I did not, however, tell Penny about that weekend.  Mostly because I'm rather particular about how I handle things. I don't want to be the cause of your breakup and then turn around trying to get into a relationship with you. If a person's relationship ends because of something I said/did, my relationship with that person has a bad foundation.  That relationship needed to end on its own.  His ex can never blame me for their failure. He can never wonder what would have been had I not torn them apart.  So, I chilled.  Remained in my lane, and yes, I waited.  And what do you know; it ended. Ironically not because of J but because of some other guy.  I'm no fool. I did not rush in.  I let him have his time to process that and move away from it. I mean they were together for years.  Eventually, I did drop hints that I was interested in him.  At the same time I had to scope out my competition. So I paid attention to his social network interactions.

April of 2010 we both went to Starkville for Super Bulldog Weekend and the Trey Songz concert.  This was the first time we'd seen each other since 2007 and also the first time we had an actual phone conversation.  FTR: I called him. He never would've called me. And I'm ok with that.  But this is the true beginning to the story of us....